It's like you had to pull the rug from underneath yourself to feel alive. I've seen the size of that painting in your mind and I can be the frame when it arrives.
I'm torn between a devil and a saint, now there's countless doubts about myself embedded in my brain. And I'm going crazy surrounded by loved one's, but I'm the only person that I know that hates me.
I keep on forgetting to remember to forget all the lies and all the bullshit, all the reasons that we had to call it quits. Pieces to our puzzle that never seemed to fit. Started out fast and ended so quick. For weeks on end I was so sick, so the next time I start to reminisce, remind me to remember to forget.
I don't know what to do, so I drown in my drink. It helps to numb the pain, cause when I sit and think about it. Eyes get clouded, thoughts get crowded, thoughts get clouded. So I'ma sit right here, wait for you to talk about it.
'Cos to me, you're strange & you're beautiful; you'd be so perfect with me, but you just can't see.
Roll up your problems, lick down your solutions and burn down your past. Inhale the goodshit, exhale the bullshit.
nobody likes being alone that much. i don't go out of my way to make friends, that's all. it just leads to disappointment. - Haruki Murakami
It feels really safe but that's only because it's right now. It feels really safe but that's only because it's right now. And how did I get so lost, how did I get stuck inside of these fucking stupid thoughts? Now we're stuck in the same extinction. And I can see the pain in your brain while you're thinking.
Ex boyfriends with benefits, whiskey binges and stimulated sedatives. Sky high on the floor of your closet, thinking about life and how it tastes like garbage.
Was that you? Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do. Take a breath, reflect on what we've been through. Or am I just going crazy cause I miss you?
That rush, that drug, that dope, those pills, that crumb, that roach. Thinkin' I would never do that, not that drug. And growing up nobody ever does until you're stuck, lookin' in the mirror like I can't believe what I've become. Swore I was goin' to be someone. And growing up everyone always does. We sell our dreams and our potential to escape through that buzz. Just keep me up, keep me up.
So fuck you and your lies baby, show no shame. The same shit yesterday was like today. Only difference is, I trust even less of what you say. But all in all I still make the noise, I still break the toys, I still hate your voice.
I’m breaking my attachment to physical power and possessions, because only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit.
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.
Life gets in the way of living and interrupts the could of, would of, should of that I ask myself each day where I've spent my time and how I'm spending it and if I'm simply wasting it away.
I can't sleep tonight, I'm up by the light of the moon in my empty room and it's one day since you ran away, and it's one day since I went insane, so I drink beer to erase your face and I medicate to escape this place, and I can't sleep in a world of pain cause nothing seems the same.
Now I'm drinkin' out the bottle, smokin' mary jane, I took a couple pills, I can feel 'em in my veins. There's nothing that dope about doin' cocaine and all I ever wanted was to feel no pain, to kill that pain.
Sadly I know some things are worse than being alone. But this empty seat beside me never fails to remind me and I know some things are worse than being alone. But I just wanted to know, won't you come back home?
And I tried to pretend that everything was fine but my soul couldn't rest until vengeance was mine. I thought that's what I wanted until the problem was confronted, now I'm haunted by remorse that I wish I hadn't done it.
No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.
You wore me like a new summer style appraised by a designer and textile, but you wore me out until I was no longer in. They'll buy you up and you'll stay afloat, but when your ship sinks they'll slit your fucking throat and you've sold yourself to it.
“One of the traps of adolescence is the sort of paranoid resentment that somehow you’re never going to match up and that everybody else’s life is going to be better and finer and fuller. That everyone else attended some secret lesson in which how to live was taught and you had a dental appointment that day, or you were somehow not invited.”
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.
We fear rejection; want attention; crave affection, and dream of perfection.
Sometimes when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture or a subtle encouragement, or in a loving embrace or an offer of comfort. And we must remember that all these things are effective for a much larger cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange but I also know that it just so happens to be true.
I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define.
Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep alone under the stars. Learn how to drive stick shift. Go so far afraid that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no whenever you don't want to do something. Say yes, if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you're doing here.
I'm taking all the right turns on the wrong roads, and none of them are going to lead me home.
"You know, booze isn't really your drug of choice anyway. You're addicted to chaos. For some of us, it's coke. For some of us, it's bourbon. But you? You got hooked on disaster."
Everyone is born into this world beautiful, it's just some people let the world turn them into something ugly.
I got more focus than a bottle of Ritalin, and all that garbage you talk is just litterin', I'm only different cause I never tried fittin' in.
Pardon me but is that me wearing my heart out on my sleeve? With razor sharp teeth gnawing at my wrist, how beautiful is this.
I say grab hold of yourself and face those days when you feel like it always rains, I've seen the sunny side of hell, that which I never thought I'd find for myself.
My high is always reflective, peaceable, intellectually exciting and sociable, unlike most alcohol highs, and there is never a hangover.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
We're locked in an image, an act. And the sad thing is, people get so used to their image; they grow attached to their masks; they love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it. They feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.
Sometimes I really, really hate myself. Sometimes I wish that I could change myself. Sometimes I don't wanna give no more and sometimes I just don't wanna live no more. Sometimes I don't know where to go for help. Sometimes I don't really know myself. Sometimes I wish that I could fly away and find a way to a brighter day.
Lonely isn't a strong enough adjective to describe all the nights that I've tried to grip tight, I lack the necessary tools to help me get right. So take your place as the temporary savior, while I'm looking at your face like I'll be testing on it later.
Your friends are so hip that I should probably let them dress me. I should let their tattoos and cigarettes impress me, I should let their super sexy music tastes affect me. Unfortunately, I don't really care if you accept me.
I've adapted to this twisted way of living, but I always knew I wasn't from this planet cause I'm so damn different. This is a cry for help and I don't give a fuck.
We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life, everyone has different paths and we're seeing the light. The world is divided between peasants and kings but the truth is, everybody's looking for the same thing.
Silence is the most obscure sound I've ever heard. Those lonely, giant spaces in between your every word. And maybe I'm totally crazy for holdin' on, but, just cause I'm insane don't mean that I'm wrong.
When all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, don't leave me here alone. But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight.
Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night wanting. But still, sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know, maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it, but there's no man, only that moon.
I was your cure and you were my disease. I was saving you, and you were killing me.
happy potter. my boyfriend. learning. driving. drake. tupac. weed. alcohol. partying. a day to remember. friends. family. hot chocolate. glamour kills. my dog. my cat. cigarettes. family guy. tv soaps. natural beauty. sylvester stallone. tattoos. tulips. coca cola. germany. nerds. originality. belief. <3
